STOP Body Shaming

STOP BODY SHAMING! 
This is a passionate topic for me. Body shaming. Yourself, your children, your co workers and even a stranger on the street. Stop doing it. 

I have had this discussion with a few of my close friends over the years. It’s always the same. Their mothers body shamed themselves in front of them. Now, I’m not trying to call my mama out, but she is guilty of it too. I don’t know what the time was like when they grew up and if their mothers did the same. I’m sure they did and it seems like it was just passed on. Body shaming gets passed on. When did it become an acceptable thing to do?

I have two beautiful little girls. After my first was born, I was a mess. Struggling with postpartum depression, high blood pressure and I was insanely swollen. I didn’t love myself. I went from a 21 year old girl who was comfortable in her skin, to a 21 year old first time mom who hated everything that her body had done during pregnancy. I moped about it. I didn’t change it. It just got worse and to the point it was dragging my husband down. He has ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. I just couldn’t get out of a slump to believe him or fix it. It took me seeing myself in a bridesmaids dress I wore in my sisters wedding to realize complaining about something is not going to fix it. My oldest was over one by now. Still not understanding what I was talking about (thankfully). 

I love Pinterest and soon after I stumbled upon a picture of a little girl standing on a scale and a caption that said “Don’t let her think like this” THAT really spoke to me. I promised, that moment, I would never body shame myself, especially in front of my girls.

I changed my attitude, my words and my lifestyle. I’m sure every person reading this has been on a diet or is looking for the next best weight loss plan. It comes with many emotions and when it doesn’t deliver the results you are looking for, you start shaming yourself. Stop it! 

My sweet girls are 5 and 2 now. I’ve learned so many things since becoming a mommy. One of those things is how brutally honest they can be. My 5 year old often reminds me that my “tummy is squishy like play-doh” and my response is always- “I love it because it reminds me of when I carried you in there. You used to move around so much and you kept growing and growing until you were big enough to be born.” She loves hearing about being in my tummy. What’s more important is she will remember me loving myself, and telling her how special it is to me that I was able to carry her. I never want to make them feel insecure. It changes things for my daughters because I will NOT say anything negative about how my body looks. 

My 5 year old had a doctors appointment not too long ago and the doctor made a comment about her percentiles. “It’s ok, kids are made differently and she’s just petite and skinny” later that day she came to me and she seemed upset. She said “Mama, I’m not skinny, the doctor said I was skinny” she’s 5 and she felt the hurt of being labeled by her body type. Yes, they do pay attention and they do understand as young as 5 years old. I took this opportunity to tell her that she was perfect because God made her. He took his time making her and that we are all so special because God created us. 

Body shaming can be passed on and it can leave emotional damage. Girls look up to their mothers. I have two girls that count on me. What I teach them about themselves is important. When my girls look at me I want them to remember that I loved myself. I refuse to pass body shaming on to them. Be careful of the words you use to describe yourself. 

Stop body shaming. Stop passing it on to your kids, especially your girls. If you body shame others, shame on you. Share with them how perfect God made them. They are created so special and so are you. 

I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well. (‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭14‬ ASV)

Raising Girls

I’ve always heard raising boys wasn’t for the faint of heart. Well, I believe that also applies to raising girls. I have two very sweet and very sassy girls. They love playing dress up, wearing big bows, everything pink, manicures and pedicures. Karrigan wants to be a mermaid when she grows up. They also love getting muddy and playing in the rain. Karrigan even loves digging for worms, Rowyn is more of a spectator when it comes to worms. They love to be prissy and they love to get dirty. When I had my gender scans and found out they were girls I would’ve never thought I would be allowing them to get dirty and play in the mud. Karrigan at almost 3 years old proved to me that being a girl won’t stop her, and Rowyn is always a step behind. Today is the third day in a row I’ve had to give them a bath because they decided to play in the dirt instead of playing on the swingset. I have to let go and just allow them to do it. I started thinking of all the things I needed to do in the house. We would need to go inside early to get them done because I now have to add a bath to the list. No, I need to let go of that too. My girls will never remember how well I kept our home. They will remember getting muddy, digging for worms, playing dress up, and getting their nails painted. When I start feeling overwhelmed by how muddy their clothes are and how chaotic it is to bathe them, I need to take a deep breath and remember their smiles and giggles. Let them play, they will remember it.  
   

Pinterest win! 

Pinterest Win! 

It’s that time of year again, ants! Huge mounds of tiny beasts that set up camp wherever they feel like it. Their bites pack quite a punch too. I wonder if I can find a remedy from stuff I already have? 

*Quickly go to Pinterest* 
So many home remedies! One was hilarious. Do you remember making volcanos in school? Yeah, that’s fun! The lady went on a killing spree with baking soda and vinegar. That seemed fun, but, I wanted something that would kill them not just burn some of them alive. 
Baking soda and confectioners sugar, score!! The ants can’t pick apart the sugar and baking soda. We all know sugar is like crack for ants. The ants eat the baking soda and can’t expel the gas it creates. Can anyone guess what happens now? THEY EXPLODE! Yes, that does seem a little morbid but my girls and pets won’t be around dangerous chemicals and it gets rid of them. It’s so cheap too. Baking soda is about .50 cents a box and confectioners sugar is about $1.70 a bag. 

I mixed equal parts and stored the leftover in a mason jar. Go on, try it! May the odds be ever in your favor 😉 

  

When you don’t know what to say

This is a touchy subject. It’s something I never thought I would personally have to go through. These are some of the things that were said to me after miscarriage and they weren’t helpful. I know they meant well and were trying to offer words of encouragement BUT it didn’t help.

1- “Well at least you weren’t too far along” Really? It still hurts. 7 weeks into a pregnancy or 9 months into a pregnancy, it’s still hard. There is no sweeter feeling than having a positive pregnancy test. Your mind immediately starts wondering what that child will be like, is it a boy or girl, baby names and looking forward to a growing belly. It’s an exciting time no matter how far along you are. 
2- “Maybe there was something wrong with the baby” Umm I DON’T CARE! I would’ve loved and cared for my child until my last breath regardless if “there was something wrong” a child is not a burden but a blessing. 
3- “You can always try again” You’re absolutely right, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less because I can try again. I asked my best friend what she would add. She has struggled with infertility. She adds that this is especially hard to hear. “Trying again doesn’t come easy. It is another month of either fertility treatments or you’re starting your process over again. It’s overwhelming and it hurts knowing that it may not happen at all.” So always remember you never know someone’s story. Trying again may not be as easy for some. 
4- “Maybe it just wasn’t your time to have a baby” hang on while I roll my eyes. I firmly believe in God’s timing and not mine. I know he is doing what is best for me even when I can’t understand why. Even when my soul aches for the baby I just lost, I trust in Him. It’s not your job to tell me “Maybe it wasn’t my time to have a baby”
If you’ve never suffered a miscarriage or the loss of a baby and you don’t know what to say to a woman who has, don’t say these things. 
A simple “I’m so sorry.” Or “I’m praying for you” or hug me tightly. Those things will do just fine. I love knowing someone is praying for me. I also like warm hugs 😉 
If you’ve struggled with child loss my heart goes out to you. I know the ache and pain that still creeps up no matter how long ago it was for you. I am praying for you. 
Hugs! 

Under His wings you will find refuge

A couple of weeks ago I was really struggling with my attitude. The girls were being difficult, I was exhausted and stretching myself thin. 

If there is one thing that makes me a little crazy it’s stepping on toys or having to step around them in our living room. I had to ask Karrigan several times to pick them up and take them to her room. She wasn’t picking them up. 
I had been praying all week and all day that day, Lord please change my attitude. Please help me calm down. Please help me refrain from going mama crazy on these girls, especially (that day) my defiant 5 year old. 
This was the absolute last time I was telling her to pick those toys up. 
“Karrigan stop jumping off that couch and get those toys up!” 
“But mama, I’m trying to flap my wings” 
“Then gather your toys in your wings, and take them to your nest” 
*Little Giggle* “ok mama” 
It was that simple. She picked her toys up and took them to her room.
I instantly thought of Psalms 91:4 “He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.” 
He is faithful. Even as a mom on a exhausting day and when the devil is trying to steal my joy, I can find refuge in The Lord. 
Take a step back exhausted mama, I’m praying for you! 😘

What is this? Another blog! A little about me.. 

I’m a 26 year old mama of two girls. Karrigan is 5 years old and Rowyn is 2 years old. I’m married to my best friend, Brent. We’ve been married for 5 years. I’m thankful for the man I married. I will save the mushy stuff for another post 😉 

I’ve been a SAHM for over two years now. I left my job in law enforcement to stay at home with my girls. It has been a fun, interesting and exhausting ride so far! Being a working mama is hard and being a SAHM is hard. Being a mama is hard! LOL It is a blessing to be a mom in any of those days. I often compare my most stressful days as a working mama and a SAHM and I will always choose what I’m doing now. I know God has called me to serve my family at home. I am so thankful for it too. 
I love to write, craft, sew, I am a Scentsy Independent Consultant, and we start homeschool in the Fall. We stay busy and this will be my ramblings as a SAHM. 😊